sooooonn ♥♥

even how

It’s not about how sweet you can be, how much gifts you give, or even how much you’re willing to do for your loved one.  It’s about how patient and understanding you can be when things aren’t going right, when someone does something that makes you angry, sad, or hurt.

I lose in almost every argument I have

In this relationship, I lose in almost every argument I have with my girlfriend.   Not because I have no sense of principle or opinion.  It’s because I think that for almost every argument, it’s not really important who wins, deep inside, most of us all know what’s right and wrong.  It’s just at the heat of the moment, we become stubborn, or we let our emotions take over our logic and we argue.  In the past, every time I win an argument, after it’s all over, I know deep inside who was right and who was wrong.  If you care and love someone, try to just let little meaningless things go, sometimes even let the big things slide... just a piece of my mind 

nov 11-14 love

she was the one, but I don't.

i know you think she was the one, but I don't. Now, I think you're just remembering the good stuff. Next time you look back, I, uh, I really think you should look again. 

hahaha.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

beauty of broken heart

the beauty of broken heart ,ideas pop up at high speed

Undeniable reality

Undeniable
broken heart that
can never be mended
by the useless silence
overpowering your tongue.
The same tongue you use
to praise
to kiss.to lie.
manipulate reality.

we are demons

" we are all demons and its always true "

everybody lies :)

:)

:)

there should be some happy place
for a supposedly clever kidwho has gone mad for (a wrong) love.

gone

were done.. its hard :(

GODBLESS US ALL

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

this is not immaturity this is how sad and depressed i am right now. and SORRY

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

the end

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

im sorry

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

for

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

for those

well it is better to die than live ,  and yes i am not strong for this.cause from the start im alone. and yes my relatives are there and so as my family. but still i stood alone in this world of chaos and cruelty. how dare you judge me for what i am? and yes i have commit a sin, mistake.. but have you ask your'e self the other side of the coin?. but thank you for it..Does each one of you enjoyed it?your'e having fun?just make sure to remember it. spread it as long as you want.make me miserable also.hate me as long as you want. curse me ,judge me, but still i forgive all of you.. even though im the one that had caused this. before i am a no body but right now im the trending monster in your walls and comments , this is humanity the cruelness is bound on each souls.maybe your'e right im not deserving to be loved.. But iv'e never closed my mind for all of this.. now i am blaming myself for being to nice. BEING NICE IS EVIL.maybe this is my fault, i hope im not nice.now i hate being nice.and i cant really say "no" .Maybe island exist . Maybe right now..And Yes i thin k its better to fade than stay.im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. and KRISTINE MARIE ANTONIO i love you..sorry if namugos ko. sorry sa pag abot nko sa imong kinabuhi.. nad sorry.. maybe im not that good enough . sometimes dili ra ka i ikaw ang nag kinahanglan . ako nag kinahanglan ko nimo.nag huwat nimo naningkamot para nimo.maski unsa pa kasakit imong nabuhat imo nasulti love gyd tika..wala man pud ko mamuiboi  its just the truth  and maybe i have love you more than my self. maski wala ko nag paka naa kopara nimo mahappy ka .. wala tika gi judge gyd..and thank you sa pag pa feel nimo nko na "nag lakaw ra gyd ko sa thin line sa imong love " and sorry sa mga sala nabuhat nko.. and sorry if napugos ka.. maybe dili gyd ko deserving ie love. maybe im just fooling on my self. im really love you gyd. maski unsa on nko ug lingaw2x ikaw ra man gyd ghpon. ikaw ra.. everytime im down its always me.i think i have to look back the other way.how stupid i was ..i KEEP on crying for you , fooling my self .trying to make this work out. yes maybe . but still i love you.and i owe you.sorry if i cant cross the distance between us .and i cant make it alone i think i need you. but i have built it half way. and im not good enough to make a rainbow bow.no im down as a dog. where were when i feel?yes this is unfair. but i always accept "unfair" to the fullest of you. but still i love you.. and im so sorry for what ive done and for what action im gonna make. .and yes i am good as dead. my head fell off already. yes now im the monster basterd. thannk you for all of those years and dont worry no matter what walai labot akng family ani.and for those.hope this could make all of you HAPPY. and this is not a DRAMA.and stop  Judging me .and yeah you have the right to feel that way..but still wala man ko masuko nimo.maski pag bisag unsa na imong gi libak nko. yeah sakto mo tanan. hope happy nalipay mo sa inung mga nasulti. pero wala ko nag lagot ninu.sorry if im a MONSTER.. SORRY IF I END IT LIKE THIS.. THANK YOU. AND GODBLESS ALL OF YOU.. SORRY

Jan Christian

the blank page

 major disappointment, rejection, failure, or loss such as breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, failing a big exam, or witnessing family turmoil. Since the overwhelming majority of those who commit suicide have a mental or substance-related disorder, they often have difficulty coping with such crippling stressors. They are unable to see that their life can turn around, unable to recognize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Usually, the common reasons for suicide listed above are actually not the "causes" of the suicide, but rather triggers for suicide in a person suffering from a mental illness or substance-related disorder.

libakakosataman

yes anger is a gift..enjoy using it. and yes i think i deserve it. so go  ahead enjoy. .

paper heart.

What is LOVE?

cruelty is bound on our souls

other bound other

if only i could visit the other path of this time.  for certain ways of thinking if only i could travel paths.would the other jan , is like this? like the one whos writing this right now?or as worst i am right now? or as happy as a rainbow or as cold as dead? if only. god knows.how can god exist in such way? and yes i may pointless in all of my ideas and metaphors but the main argument is could a certain path to other dimension exist? could their be other us? other we? other earth? could love bound this gap?

:(

i wonder

if still i haven't realize how time would pass.

could i laugh about this? or make me sad again?

so her it is

Dear Future jan

if yer reading this well maybe yer still drop out? maybe not? or single again? we both know how we love.well dont be to blind again, okay? well. as far ive remember you still suck a spelling and numbers.sorry jan.hahaha..
well hope that you have become a great person , stay good,cool,.. just dont loss hope.and FYI yer smarter if yer  sad or depressed and most of all if yer happy. we both know yer gifted as well .you can analyze scenarios in a matter of sleep. and oh f-jan you can make everything as long as you put yer mind and heart on what yer doing. Dont give up on Imagination and try to visualize them and for sure it well come true.your'e a keen observer , manipulator .wanderer , your'e not a trying hard poser its just you.just be yer self..and right now the reason why your'e writing is because kma is about to leave you .. Yes it is hard for both of us to accept it. and thats how blind we are before.but still we love him so much. remember those days and thats make you what you are right now the reason why you have to find more jobs as you can.. to prove that long distance relationship is not a game.. to to show to her how much you love her despite .. you know what i mean f-jan . so try to be happy think for yer self also. KMA is not that kind of girl.. u know her more than anyone else. ..and yes its hard to accept the truth and the mere reason why yer writing this. JUST pray always, be happy f-jan. mag suwat ghpon ko para nimo okay?

i've forgotten

and yes forgotten as nothing else left  a side.

nothing is easy

and yeah .   im writing again. maybe sadness is the key for me to open up my creativity .well im not as easy it is, How can it be so easy?what the fuck. im a blind man in a dark room full of pointless rounds. and " sometimes i speak/write in metaphors" how can i ease this pain? could playing online game help me forget this sadness? or i should embrace it? nothing is easy live in ease.

"walking in a thin line"

We all does , life is not easy and its unfair, but sometimes we are give the chance to make it ease.

i talk as i can

blah blah blah blah blah blah

What is

What is LOvE

What is LOVE? 

Feel free to Comment and tell me what is LOVE ?